Juicing! Recipes and flying monkey apples

I am the Willy Wonka of the juicing world. If I see a giant blueberry girl, I'll simply reply to her predicament "I want you to roll Miss Beaurgarde into the boat and take her along to the Juicing Room at once. 'Kay?" I will squeeze and press the juice out of a piece of paper just because I can--- I love my new Jack Lalanne juicer!

I've been toying with the idea of buying a juicer for the past year or so but never got around to buying one or looking up recipes for it. After work two days ago, I told myself that I should get one. I did.

I took it home and stared at the box for two hours before deciding it was time to bust it out and give it a whirl. There were about 8 parts in the box and it took me all of 13.3 minutes to assemble. I made it more confusing than it actually was. I didn't think I would ever get it assembled. Thank the Lord for directions with pictures...without them I would still be staring at the pulp catcher and the circular filter asking myself "where does the fruit go?"

After getting it all in order, I flipped the switch just to hear a glorious low whirring noise. I jumped in glee and said "ooooohhh!"

I turned the juicer (lovingly known as Shredder) off and gathered my fruits. I grabbed three granny smith apples and cored them. I then took my pears and dug out the seeds as well. Finally, I poured the thawed peaches and the other two fruits in a big bowl and reverently walked towards Shredder. Now was the moment of truth.

Would I like freshly juiced fruits? Would it taste sour or bland? Am I going to miraculously feel rejuvenated and fresh? Only one way to find out-- to KILL the innocent fruits by squishing them to death in my new machine.

On goes the machine and I drop the fruit bit by bit down the chute and followed it with the shmooshing tube. It whirred harder and sure enough, fruit juice came streaming out of the hole into my juice catching cup. It was a blurry khaki color and started to foam in my cup. Giddy to try more, I put more fruit down the chute but forgot to follow it with the shmooshing tube. The apple pieces came FLYING out towards me like the crazy monkeys from the Wizard of Oz...

I screamed out and jumped back. After the mad monkey apple pieces stopped attacking me, I approached the machine with a new found respect for the shmooshing tube.

I put the rest of the fruit down the chute and after I was done, was left with a full measuring cup of fresh juice--the blood of fruits of life past.

I disassembled the juicer with less trouble than what I had assembling it. I cleaned it sparkling and grabbed the juice and poured it in a tall glass cup.

It was like liquid gold--shimmery yellow and beige in color and foamy up top. I stirred the foam into the juice and braced myself as I lifted the glass to my lips.

Steady...

Steaadddyy.....

*gulp*

AMAZING!

This juice was beyond amazing. It was smooth and delightfully sweet. It tasted like apple juice gone wild. The tartness of the granny apples was offset by the calm smooth taste of pear and the hint of sweetness from the peach.

Oh man. I had struck gold. Liquid gold!

I highly recommend you try fresh juice--from a juicer. It tastes so much better than even that "Fresh juice" the store sells. No preservatives or crappy additives-- just wholesome juice.

Today, I tried a new recipe. Amazing. I've used this juicer 3 times in the past 2 days and I love it. I hear it's a great way to detoxify, lose weight, reallign your health and digestive system. Im stoked to try more recipes--especially a homemade V8 recipe. I usually can't drink V8 due to the high salt content (I'm not a horse, for crying out loud, I don't need a salt lick with every glass of juice...)

Here are a couple of recipes I've created and jotted down. Be sure you use firm fruits. Don't juice bananas....

Smooth Apple Blend

3 granny smith apples (cored)

2 pears (cored if seeded)

2 peaches (I used two handfuls of frozen sliced peaches)

Place all in the juicer.

ENJOY!

Apple Fruity Blend

3 granny smith apples (cored)

2 pears (cored if seeded)

1 cup blueberries

6 strawberries (tops cut off)

1 large carrot (top cut off)

Juice an apple and pear, add blueberries and strawberries, then add the rest of the apples, pears, and carrot. Enjoy.

As you see, I stick with fruit juices-- I'm a tad scared to add a whole bag of spinach to my juicing regime...but... I'll get there.

ENJOY. Don't be scared! Give juicing a try!

A Chocolate Splinter--martyr for trying to boil chocolate alive

People get splinters from metal shavings. People also get splinters from wood. Heck, people even get splinters from shrapnal while at war. Me? Jenna gets a chocolate splinter. How hardcore am I?

I forgot to mention to you in my last post that I got a chocolate splinter while assembling ingredients for my German Chocolate Cake.

I handle boiling water and spitting sugar syrup weekly and yet I don't get burned or scarred from those things. No...only this gal would get a splinter from a shard of bakers chocolate.

The pyrex measuring cup with but half a cup of boiling water emerged from the microwave. I am extra careful around hot water and hot things in general. Who wants to get burned? Scars tell cool stories but not while you're screaming in agony while curled up on the floor---dogs watching in amused bewilderment.

I set the boiling water on the counter. The german chocolate baking chocolate was in it's nice 4 ounce box, resting peacefully next to my jar of crackers. I picked up the box and started to open it. Out came the white paper covered chocolate bar and I threw the paper box in the recycling bin (I am a good person, I recycle! Take that, you green fanatics). The water was still bubbling furiously in the measuring cup--perfect temperature to melt the baking chocolate.

With the bar of chocolate in my hand, pre-scored and ready to break into bits, I broke the bar in half. Not a problem. This is kid's play!

It wasn't until I tried to break that half into a fourth that all evil emerged from that smooth velvety chocolate bar. It was as if it had been planning--nay--deliberately and collectively plotting my downfall. I took the half in my hand and firmly attempted to break that half of chocolate evil into a fourth. Failed attempt.

Discouraged but ambitious, I tried again, but this time I grasped the chocolate bar more firmly and used more force when I attempted to break it.

I heard a snap and a low pop at the exact moment I felt a sharp pain shoot up through my right forefinger. I yelped! Oh the PAIN! The AGONY! The wretched soul that is mine!

My finger went numb and I was at this point hopping around the kitchen on one foot with the bar of chocolate evil laying on the counter (no doubt devilishly cackling and sneering at it's success). My finger gained consciousness after a few seconds and I dared to look down at my finger.

Sure enough, a long shard of german baking chocolate was sticking out from under my nail, jammed up under it. I felt as if I were sitting in a dark damp room with but a spotlight above me being interrogated by foreign baking terrorists who were sticking spatulas under my fingernails as a means to make me spill the beans about my most prized secret recipe. Oh the TORTURE. I am a martyr for trying to boil chocolate alive.

After I collected my wits I walked to the sink and started running warm/hot water on my finger to relieve the pain. You, friend, should be very thankful that I am sacrificing the bedrest of my right forefinger to write this story to you! Feel proud---very proud.

Sadly, the pain has not gone away but BOY did I throw the rest of that baker's chocolate into that boiling (at this point-subboiling) water with a madman's fervor. It's like when a puny little underdog finally sticks up for himself to the class bully. Sure, it feels good for the puny runt to finally punch the bully and the bully is taken aback for just one moment before the rage rises in their eyes and the chase ensues--leaving the puny runt to cry on the ground in fetal position. Yes--I was the bully. The chocolate stood up to me but in the end, I won and will continue to win. HA!

So, there's my tale of a chocolate splinter. Do you think I'll use a knife to break apart the chocolate bar next time? Probably not---I'm too darn stubborn to use a knife at this point...

German Chocolate Cupcakes...to the MAX!

Oh yum.

Yum yum...

YUM!!!

I am not a coconut person. I am also not a nut person. However, when I finished assembling these German Chocolate Cupcakes, I was surprised that I found them DELICIOUS.

A rut, I was in. It was time to bake something other than peanut butter frosting topped chocolate cupcakes. Sure, they're tasty and a breeze to make, but I wanted a challenge! I asked a coworker if she liked cupcakes and what kind I should make for her. She said "German Chocolate is my favorite cake!" That was a lead enough for me.

After creating the chocolate cake batter---delicately folding in the egg whites after making sure not to whip the batter too hard for fear of chocolate goodness spilling all over the counter---I poured a smidgeon into each cupcake liner and baked for about 15 minutes. The past few times I've baked cupcakes they've been a tad dry, so I took them out right when the knife came out 90% clean. They shrunk a bit but no one will know with all that good coconut/pecan frosting I added!

I hope you enjoy making this recipe as much as I did. It was a nice change from the usual chocolate cake.

German Chocolate Cake

(adapted from myhomecooking.net

1 (4-oz.) pkg Baker's German Chocolate baking bar

1/2 cup boiling water

1 cup butter (softened)

2 cups sugar

4 egg yolks

4 eggs whites

1 teaspoon Vanilla

2 1/2 cups flour

1 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp salt

1 cup buttermilk

1. Add the chocolate to the boiling water and let sit while you assemble the next part.

2. Whip the butter and sugar until incorporated and add the egg yolks and vanilla.

3. In another bowl (stand mixer if you have it) whip the egg whites until very stiff.

4. Using a whisk, whisk the chocolate/boiling water mixture until smooth and creamy. Add into the butter/sugar mix.

5. Add the baking soda and salt to the sugar/butter mix.

6. Alternate pouring into the sugar/butter mix between the buttermilk and flour.

7. Slowly fold the egg whites into the chocolate batter and pour into cupcake liners.

8. Bake at 350 for a little over 15 minutes.

German Chocolate Frosting

6oz Evaporated Milk (half a can)

2/3 cup sugar

1/4 cup butter

1 egg

1. Boil all those ingredients and then take off the heat. Let cool for a few minutes.

2 tbsp vanilla

dash of cinnamon

1 + 1/3 cup coconut shavings

1/2 cup pecans (chopped)

2. Stir in the second set of ingredients into the first. Let cool. Spoon over the tops of the cupcakes.

Now.... I like to add a few sprinkles of cinnamon and almond extract to all my chocolate recipes. This sets off the chocolate perfectly. Experiment! If you'd like, whip up some heavy cream and sugar to make homemade 'cool whip' and dollop on top. Add a single pecan sticking up or laying flat on top. You have a dainty quick treat! YUM!

Remember--- never be afraid to try something new. Add a dash of cinnamon to chocolate! Try almond extract in your everyday cookie or cake recipes! Go crazy and let your imagination be your guide. If you fail, only you'll know. No one is grading you or going to tell you that you're wrong. Go for it!

Have a wonderful day, friend!

Is it worth the cost?

Lately, I've been on a cupcake kick. I tire of making large cakes that just dry out within two days. Darn you, Colorado. Cupcakes, however, I can pawn off rather easily to friends who are hungry for a sugary sweet without feeling bad about eating a whole slice of rich cake. (It's fat free if you eat with a fork instead of your hands, right?)

I went to a local cupcake shop to try out their goods a few days ago. This store is notorious for using boxed mixes and for having bad customer service, but I thought I'd give them a second chance.

A few friends and I had visited said cupcake shop about a year ago. We walked into a half empty store with a big glass case. We nervously walked to the counter where a stoic young guy was standing. I looked down and noticed they only had 2 trays of cupcakes for sale. There were only about 20 cupcakes out. The prices? $3.00 for a regular size cupcake and $5.00 for a jumbo one. WHOA NELLY!

Hold the phones... you want me to pay $3.00 for one regular size cupcake?? I can go to Wal-mart and buy a boxed cake mix and make my own for under $2.00......... for 24 cupcakes!

We didn't want to leave empty handed, so we bought regular sized cupcakes. It tasted of overpowering sugar, enough to make the cavities in my teeth burrow down deeper with just one lick of the frosting.

Either way, my friends and I left the store with a sugar rush and lighter wallets.

As I was saying, I gave them a second chance a few days ago. This time, instead of the store being empty and vacant, there were 3 employees in the store. One sitting at a table at a laptop, who upon my entry, glanced up with a "what are you doing here?" look. The second was a man standing behind some wall separators (short enough to see his shoulders and head), presumably piping frosting on millions of little helpless naked cupcakes. The third was a girl at the glass case who quickly asked "Have you had our cupcakes before?" Taken aback by her abrupt question, I said yes.

I peered into the case and saw two small trays of regular sized cupcakes. They looked sickeningly sweet and bright. Given, they also looked quite cute. After getting lost hearing all the descriptions of the 6 different cupcakes they had in stock, I opted for the key lime one. It was a vanilla cupcake with bright neon glowing green frosting. I paid my three dollars and left.

It sure was good.

I've decided to continue making cupcakes. Why not? If a bakery can sell 'from the box' cupcakes for 3 bucks a pop, why can't I sell them for a bit cheaper? Mine are more delicious...I promise!!