Is it all worth it?

I just finished watching Julie and Julia. After comparing Meryl Streep and Julia Child, I realized how grand of a job Meryl did portraying her. The movie was very good. I suppose I felt the end cut off too much, but it was a simple story.

I just adore how Julie took on the task of baking from Mastering the Art of French Cooking. What guts! What skills! What a pretty penny! I write with three dollars next to my keyboard and change jingling in my purse. I have never been one to invest in food for everyday dinners, at least extravagant foods. Sam is so kind as to never complain. Would I like to de-bone a duck at some point? Yes. The question remains of when I will be able to or want to afford a duck for dinner.

Our family's cuisine is simple. I use many spices, garlic mainly, to enhance flavors in my meats and sauces. Mastering the art of cooking in general is a lost art.

First: When it costs more for a bag of apples than for three boxed macaroni meals, you know our priorities have changed: convenience vs health

Second: I bake for a living. When people ask me what I do as a career I get one of two responses. I either get a joyous yelp of excitement or I get a trailing off of the voice pretending to still be interested. People don't take baking seriously anymore when you can buy a lasagna in the frozen food aisle and pop it in the oven and it will taste comparable to a homemade one (though not better).

Third: Cooking and baking is not as hard as people claim. Once I claim that I bake a mean cheesecake, people tell me that they buy the instant one from jello or they moan about how they could never bake something like that. Quite frankly, a cheesecake is simple. Follow directions and keep a watchful eye on the oven timer and you'll be fine. Baking is not complicated.

With so many restaurants starting up and shutting down, I wonder, is it all worth it? Is it worth it to go after a dream? So many things financially can get in the way. If people don't come through your doors, how can you be excited to come to work and cook?

Work has been slow for me. The restaurant has been decently busy but my job hasn't been... well... needed. I want to experiment with many new recipes. I would love to make homemade cream cheese like I want, and use it in my cheesecakes. I would love to bake candies and divinity. The restaurant can't afford my time or the sweets sitting on the shelf, perching for purchase, because we don't have the base for dessert sales.

It's a bummer, you know. I want to do all these amazing things with my desserts but cannot due to financial restraints as well as the fact that people aren't buying what I currently make because people are not coming in at all.

There it is.

What needs to happen? I need to strap up and stand up and make do with what I have. If I am short on money yet want to make sweets, I shall make peppermint meringues. If I am wanting a long project, I will make a 15 layer jello mold.

I hope you are well.

Best wishes!