Grocery Shopping

Sam and I approached the fridge with wide eyes, hearts pounding, and hands clasped together.

"Do you think we'll find anything to eat in there?" Sam whispered hurriedly to me.

"I--I don't know, babe. I hope so. We haven't eaten an actual meal in--in---a week," said I.

Slowly Sam reached his hand out toward the fridge door, fingers trembling.

I looked at him with worried eyes and his eyes were squinting in a mixture of pain and anticipation.

He grasped the door and I held my breath.

He whipped the door open and we both jumped back, blinded by the white of the light of the fridge reflecting off the empty walls off the empty cavern that once was our fridge. The shelves were full of ketchup and pickle bottles---milk in the door. Otherwise empty.

I felt ill and fell backwards in a faint. I hit the floor with a thud and Sam just stood there, horrified. He grabbed his hair and screamed at the top of his lungs and ran out into the cold cold night like a banshee seeking a victim.

Okay. So it wasn't that bad...but really---we had nothing in our fridge but condiments. I had to go shopping.

Sam and I usually skimp on food because we don't really eat a lot and don't want to buy things that will go to waist (or waste). That, and usually we are so short on cash we can't really afford a lot of extravagant foods. We make do with chips and salsa, soups, and sandwiches! We love it! (This is where I must put in how appreciative I am that I have a man who doesn't need steak and potatoes every night).

I started picking out some pork and roasts (a delicacy in our house..ha!), some hamburger helpers, some fruits and veggies, and some frozen dinners I could assemble really quickly. I realized at this point the genius of going up and down every aisle. A person first thinks to themselves "I need so many things. How will I separate out which aisles I need to go down?" Then it hits them, like the store unconsciously adding subliminal messages to the elevator music overhead, "I could just go down every aisle!" Sure enough---every aisle is pleasing, full of all sorts of food you need and really don't need. Pure genius. For some reason, cans of soup and boxes of macaroni seem to jump off the shelves into your cart squealing "Take me home, take me home!"

My cart is never more than one layer full of food when we go shopping. This time, my cart was about 2-3 layers full of food---about 1/4 full. Got up to the register and wondered to myself "How did a bag of marshmallows get in there? What is that block of cheese doing down under the chips?"

Total Cost : $105.35. HOLY MOLY I broke one hundred. I felt like I had just spent our whole paycheck on food! We don't spend that much ever on food. Yet... with the deep dark empty cavern that is our fridge waiting for me at home, I knew I had to come home with enough food to satiate it's need to be full and provide purpose. A peace offering, if you will, with the machines. Bring food, and the ice maker will not crap out on you next week like was anticipated. Bring more meat to put in the freezer and the faucet will give hot water quicker than usual for a month.

It's a vicious cycle.

I certainly am not in Kansas anymore.

Boy howdy. Time flies. Can you believe it's already late March? April is peeking it's head from behind the rain and snow clouds, ready to pounce.

It's been a long week. I've been slacking on practicing my cello and keeping up with school work. I'll pull through, I always do. Every now and again though I need a day or two to catch up with how fast I'm running.

Speaking of running, Sam has been kind enough to run with me! Well...technically HE runs. I just jog. I take Pax. He takes Ash. We usually do a 3.5 mile loop. It's very refreshing. We run around the track on base and then cross the street to go on the dirt road around housing. It's a lovely jog towards the evening. The dirt path is wide enough for a car. Car tracks are indented in the dirt and mixed with shoe prints and animal prints. It's not as windy as one would think, facing wide open kansas-like land (flat and boring, but wonderful). The dirt stirs up behind our feet as we climb the incline of the road, leading to a long stretch of road that seems to never end. Yet...we reach the end and turn back towards housing and run the rest of the way around. It's so wonderful.

Although I enjoy Colorado weather, landscape, and the general feel of it, I much prefer Kansas. I think Kansas' weather tends to scare people away and anger the locals...ya know? The change of the winds that bring rain one day and blistering heat the next. The whiplash of high winds to a calm cool night. I have come to love Kansas the more I am away from it.

I always loved harvest time in Kansas. I'd drive my malibu on Burma in the cool of the evening, my window rolled down, and the wheat all around me swaying in the dying sunlight. Sometimes if no cars were in front or behind me, I'd just stop the car and sit and watch the wheat sway. It's the most calming thing to me. I can only relate that feeling to the calm of being on the side of Pikes Peak, looking over the land and trees, or hiking through the woods of the trail to Pikes Peak.

Still, nothing beats the warm grain smell swirling around you. You can watch the wind rise up from the corners of the horizon. The wind would sprint towards you, leaning on the wheat stalks for support. The wheat waves and the wind races closer. You brace yourself for wind's attack and all you get is a cool breeze, a kiss on your cheek, and the warm earthy smell of dirt and labor tickling your nose. All you can do is smile! How lovely is that scent. The feel of the earth moving around you through the wind and carrying a glimmer of hope and a bit of homegrown life.

I miss Kansas during harvest time.